One of my Mom's bi-passes is 75% and another 100% blocked.  In 4 yrs.  What do mine look like, I wonder.  They are going to put in some stints in the next couple of weeks...no open heart, thank God.

I didn't want to start 2007 in a funk, but it seems that I have.  For no particular reason.  Possibly PMS.

I wish I could study self-awareness/self-help books, do the exercises and dig deep into myself as one of my dear friends does, but I just get bored and lose interest.

I realize that I immerse myself in "work" (soldier stuff) to fill the voids that are plentiful in my life.  At least I'm not using food.

I have noticed that I'm always alone...even in a crowd.

I almost choked to death in the truck last night.  On water.  Glad I was in my brother's driveway and could get of the truck.  Would have been really bad if I were still driving on 76 East. 

I hope I don't die by drowning.

I have noticed that those who protest head games the loudest play them the hardest. 

Some people are mean, apparently just because they can be.

Those people suck.

I think no one wants to date me because my brother keeps telling everyone that I put Nate's dad in the hospital twice.  Big pussies are scared of me.

It's never a good idea to try to cause me physical pain.  I have bad reactions.

For the first time in 12 yrs I didn't get a Happy Birthday call from Ed, which means for the first time in 12 yrs he didn't get one from me.

I am surprised by how much I must have been awaiting that call, and by how much it hurt that it didn't come.

I wonder if he even noticed.

When Winter hits I always get an overpowering urge to eat vegetables and take walks. 

I have not read any of my fav's at MDD or Xanga in a month, and really have no desire to.  (I have read a couple of fav's, but really, only 2)

If you're still reading me, I have no freakin idea why.

Most songs can make me tear up.

And commercials.

I have noticed that everything in my life comes in spurts.  I'm always either so busy/occupied that I can't think, or there is absolutely nothing at all going on. 

I wish it would spread out a little more evenly.

I'm finding myself amused by stupid shit that would have angered me before.

I have noticed that I'm not as cute as I used to be, but my heart is bigger than it once was.

I have work to do.  Lots of work.

And then, maybe I'll have time to work on my life.

Hi kids.  I'll try to get an update in before work raises it's ugly head.  Again.

Christmas was nice, had the whole family for practically the entire weekend, which is nice, but also nice when they all go home *L*  Living basically alone for almost 3 yrs makes a whole bunch of company in the house nerve wracking.  Or I'm just getting old.  Old & stuck in my ways.  Yea, that sounds about right.

Over the holidays I dumped Bill, met Shrek, and, as turn about is fair play, have apparently been dumped by him over this past weekend *L*  Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?  I just love this dating shit.  Not.

My TV replacement finally arrived Friday and Nate hooked it up for me.  He got me a DVR for Christmas so that's all hooked up in my bedroom now so that I can just take my silly ass in there & hybernate for the rest of the winter.  His girlfriend, Crystal, got me the most beautiful wind chime, I just love it!

I did not bake one thing this holiday season, and on Jan 1st I threw away all junk that was left in my kitchen.

I'm down 26 lbs now.

Nate is happy & healthy...working on his "new" pick up truck...a 1971 Ford that is going to take him till about 2020 to get on the road. *g*  I can barely get into the garage, again, in fact, this morning I found my truck out in the driveway and his T-Bird in the garage on jacks.  I love that kid.

I haven't been updating because I was busy with Bill/Shrek and Soldier stuff.  I created a Myspace for The Silver Star Families of America Here and that has taken an incredible amount of my time, but well worth it.  We now have 130 "friends", mostly soldiers, which is who we were trying to reach of course.  Our Board had vetoed the idea of Myspace a few months ago due to the bad press they have received, but I badgered them and they relented and now I think they're pleased with the results.  Sometimes it does help to be the squeaky wheel.

Speaking of Wheel, I've just read (again) the first 2 books of The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan.  I'm not really into "fantasy" books but these are so good & this is probably the 3rd time I've read them.  It's all good vs evil, light vs shadow, the Pattern of life...good stuff.

My Mom had a stress test last week and now they think there is something wrong with a couple of the bi-passes she had done 4 yrs ago.  She is scheduled for a heart catherization on the 17th of this month.  My sister & brother & I will be going to PA to sit and wait with my Dad.  And praying that she doesn't have to have another open heart surgery.

Ok, tis time for me to close the year and all the wonderful things that go with it, so I'll leave you kids with this thought:

" Never keep someone a priority, when they keep you an option."

You kids have a wonderful Monday ~ You know I will. 

MERRY

CHRISTMAS,

 KIDS!!

(of all ages *g*)

Yes, Friends & Neighbors, I have finally found The Spirit of Christmas!!

It wasn't really lost, you know, it was just buried underneath a bunch of non-essential stuff that crowds the heart and mind and takes up wayyyyy too much space.

Where did I find The Spirit?  I'm so very glad you asked!!

I found it.....

In 3 boxes and 2 envelopes sent to me by my dear friend Drops...

In the beautiful card all the way from California with hand written notes sent with love from the Fabulous Four at Terriberri's house....

In the beautiful Breakfast Basket sent with love from Iraq by iraqdirtchick....

In the box that came from that Ukranian Georgia Peach, Damaris, not only for me but always for Nate too....

In the form of a comment by Val suggesting I get over myself, and get with the Season....

In an email from the incredibly sweet TNuts inviting me to join her & her lovely husband for a night at a nearby comedy club for my birthday.....

In an 8AM message on my voice mail, my dear friend Sissy singing Happy Birthday to me in her cracked, broncitis riddled voice.....

In the comments left wishing me a Happy Birthday from wonderful people I will never have the opportunity to touch, but who always remember and reach out & touch me from where they are.

In the Christmas card sent by my niece which said "Christmas at Aunt T's!! YEA!!!!"  .......

It's not whats IN the boxes, the cards, the phone calls, the emails, the comments....It's in the knowing that in the midst of your busy day you thought of me and took time out to do what you do to brighten my day.  I am incredibly fortunate to have all of you.

God just keeps blessing me, I don't know why, if I were him I'd have thrown me to the curb a million years ago...but he does, with a great family and with a great circle of friends.  After 10 yrs on the internet I've given up wondering how this happens, how I fall in love with people around the globe that I more than likely will never lay eyes on...It just happens and I'm not going to fight it, I'm just going to enjoy it.

So to all of you and your families, I wish you the Merriest Christmas and a New Year filled to the brim of all that you love and hold dear. 

Thank you all for the gift of your friendship, it is truly precious to me.

PS:  I STILL aint bakin!!!!  

Chestnuts roasting by the furnace that's always cranked too high
Jack Frost nipping at my nose, when I got outside to smoke
Yule tide carols being sung by a choir that doesn't play on my new (broken) TV
And kids dressed up like Eskimos, pounding on my door for donations of some sort....

Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree
Where in the heck are your ornaments?
Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree
It's a good thing you came pre-lit

Whatever will I wrap the gifts with?
The lovely paper I am unable to get to
Tree skirt? Do we really need one?
Can't the unwrapped gifts just rest on the carpet?

Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree
I'll try to do better next year.

Ok, I am starting to feel a lil bit guilty about not baking cookies.....

Slowly but surely catching up with you all...geesh, you guys write a lot, don'tcha have lives or what? 

So, kids....tell me....who really gives a flyin fuck?    (Um...sorry, shoulda said schmuck)

Why is this news worthy?  Why is Clear Channel Radio breaking into programs every 15 minutes with a "Fox News Alert" about this topic?  Is it really news?  Do we really care?

For Fox, isn't this like the little boy who called wolf?  If they keep using the all important sounding "Fox News Alert" for silly shit like this, won't we soon grow so numb that when a real "Fox News Alert" comes over, like, say, a nuclear bomb just went off in New York City, will we even hear it or will it just sound like Charlie Brown's mom droning in our ears?

Please.

Other noteworthy headlines today, as seen on MSN, that big news spot: