When I was growing up everything was so easy.  I was going to be a parole officer, my 11th grade speech teacher laughed at the image of me dragging my parolee's out of bars by their collars, but had no doubt that I would.

But I didn't have the patience to go to college after just spending 12 yrs in school...I'll go later, I've got other things to do right now.  Word to the wise, later never comes.

With not working, I have way too much time on my hands to think about what I coulda, shoulda, woulda. 

I'm 47 years old.  I don't have a job.  I have too much experience, no one wants to hire me.  Can you imagine, too much experience?  Everyone want's "entry level" people.  Well, of course they do, cheaper to hire someone who doesn't know what the hell they're doing, right?  I guess.  If you can afford the mistakes they make.  Sure.

I don't have a husband.  No, a supportive partner would just be too much to ask for.  Do it yourself, that's my motto....apparently.

I am in possibly the only recorded sexless affair with a married man ever known to man.  No need to say more on that, huh?

I am at the end of a lease on a vehicle that I have to turn in next Friday.  Good,  no more payments.  Bad,  no transportation and not wanting to buy anything until I get a job.  I think the prospect of not having a vehicle is what has hit the hardest.  I've had some kind of vehicle for the past 30 yrs, and now to lose that independence... it's almost too much to think about.  Ok, enough, I don't want to think about it.

One step forward, two steps back.

I had an incredible urge to write here tonight.  Now I have nothing of worth to say.

I'm not depressed.  I know it sounds like I am, but I'm not.  I think I stand somewhere in a field of disbelief.  This is not where I wanted to be at 47. This is not where I wanted to be at any age.

 ....will do just about anything to make me blog. 

So I went out & got the mail today and found this:

Threw it in the trash, and then thought, hmmm, I should probably see what that is.  Removed from the trash, opened and here's what it says:

So, now I'm standing in the kitchen, in disbelief.  A monkey? What the hell would possess Nate to get me a monkey?  He's gotta be kiddin me, what is he thinking!!  Now I'm laughing as I make my way downstairs.  "NATE! you got me a monkey??"  He's looking at me like I'm the one that has lost my mind as I hand him the letter. 

So guess what??  It's not from Nate.  I googled Saboto-Gunea Wildlife Exports and find it's a hoax.  Cleveland Ohio postmark... hmmmm....wonder who that could possibly be....

All I gotta say is if YOU are reading this - expect it when you least expect it.  

What a great joke!

Well, I'm still not working.  Have submitted a few applications but so far no bites besides from staffing agencies, which I'm trying to avoid.  Been working around the house though.  Got Nate's bedroom done:

Tore up the floor in the bathroom & laid new vinyl:

If anyone has wall paint color suggestions to go with that avocado green tub, let me know.  By the way, although avocado green was very popular in the 70's it is no longer.  However, now they're calling it wasabi green and it's all the rage.  So I'm fashionable without even trying *L*

Cleaned up the spare room since Nate moved all the furniture into his room downstairs...It's now my office/spare room:

Sadie loves the new bed:

As does my great-niece, Ava, who spent the day with me Tuesday:

Poor baby was sick with an ear infection.....

Nate got his Mustang from the body shop.  I'm hoping he allows me to drive it for a while since I'm turning in my lease in June and don't really want to buy anything until I see what kind of money I'll be making.  When I mention it to him he just laughs and tells me I'd get into trouble driving it.  I do see his point, its a pretty fast car *g*

I am still doing troop support work, although much, much more under cover and behind the scenes.  I've stepped down from the VP position in the one group, after a mere 4 months.  All I can say is don't demand me to follow if you don't know how to lead.  I'm still in the group, just very quietly and very local only.  I do still maintain their myspace and I'm still state coordinator.  I'm back working with Soldiers' Angels Living Legends Team...which I had given up to be VP of the other.  Live and learn.

Otherwise, everything is pretty much as it always is.  Got the house almost totally spring cleaned and have been lecturing myself on getting outside & starting on the gardens, but so far I haven't made it out there *L*  Soon.

Alrighty, I reckon that's all I got.  Happy Mothers Day to you all.  Until next time....  

So, tell me if this shit ever happens to you.....

Yesterday I agreed to take a car load of loud, silly ass teenagers to the IX Center to celebrate my nephew's upcoming 14th birthday.  The IX Center, for those of you not in the Akron/Cleveland Ohio area, is the International Exposition Center, a convention center boasting over 1 million square feet and used for the Home & Garden Show, car shows, boat shows, and many other events, including the yearly "Indoor Amusement Park" for which we went yesterday.

So, dressing for this event was casual.  I wore jeans and a Glenn Beck Tshirt sold to help pay legal expenses for our border guards, Campeon & Ramos, currently serving time in prison for the shooting & wounding of a Mexican drug smuggler.  The Tshirt has a large circle with Border Patrol in the center and underneath it says "To Protect and Serve Time".

Yesterday was The 4th Annual La Fiesta Latina Celebration.

I need to start looking at the event's calendar before I go anywhere.

I'm sick of politics, so I only have this one thing to say and you can decide if it's really about politics, or if it's about parenting.  One of the silly ass teenagers in my car was a kid who I thought was a boy for the entire hour drive to the IX Center.  I have no idea what they were talking about, having shut them out after the first 4 minutes of the trip, but suddenly I hear this girl/boy say, I just want to see Bush die.  Of course I unstop my ears and hear him/her say He really sucks and he just needs to die, I'll be glad to see him dead. 

So, this kid is 14 max....you think he/she is really paying attention to President Bush, or has he/she heard this countless times in his/her own home?  Parents, teach your children well.  Why would you speak like that, especially in front of your children?  I was disgusted with Bill Clinton and I seriously cannot stand his wife, but I would never have wished them dead, especially in front of my children. 

But, you know, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, when we got to the IX Center & I mentioned this to my sister, she filled me in on several things.  The first being that the boy was indeed a girl.  Secondly, the girls mother is one of those people who refer to the insurgents in Iraq as "Freedom Fighters" and she likes to go to bars, get on the dance floor, take off her shirt, accost other women by simulating a sex act from behind while reaching around and grabbing their boobs.   Yeah...a real nice classy lady.

Well, I  lost my job the first week of March.  Sounds like the beginning of a country song, huh?  My bosses have decided they don't want to do this anymore.  So, now John sits in the office with all the lights off, listening to books on cd and playing solitaire on the computer, while Ric goes out and spends 1-2 hours a day finishing off little jobs we had and then drinking beer for the rest of the day back in the shop.  And me, after 12 yrs, got my last paycheck and a Thanks for everything.  

I haven't even started looking for a job, I've taken the time to get some work done around my house.  I tore up 30 yr old ceramic tile (the little tiny blocks that come on 12"x 12" squares of mesh) from my upstairs bathroom floor and am going to go in a minute to find some vinyl flooring for in there.  Also finally painted Nate's "new" bedroom downstairs and had carpet laid in there Thursday.  It's lookin pretty fabulous and I can't wait for him to move this bedroom furniture down from my spare room so I can scrub the carpet, maybe paint, and get my "office" together.  Looking for a day bed or something to go in there for when my friend, Diane, comes in May from S. Dakota.  And other "Spring" cleaning type things.

I have a subcontractor that told John he would love to have me work for him and he'd be calling me in a week or so. They had that conversation the day I got laid off so....still waiting for the call.  Thinking I better start looking elsewhere.

Oh, my brother lost his job too.  He worked the same place as me.  Yeah.  Nice for family to share in the good times and the bad, huh? *L*

Nate is doing well.  He's disgusted with his boss and vows to quit as soon as he gets his car paid off.  He bought a 2001 Mustang from his boss, paid for it by working unpaid overtime.  The car is paid for, now it's in the body shop getting a little work and a new paint job, which he's also paying for by working unpaid overtime.  His boss does take advantage of him but I don't know that he'll actually quit.  He's got a lot of freedom there.  I just wish he'd go to school and get certified in diesel mechanics and then he'd get paid fairly for what he does naturally. But he's not interested in school.

The kid is a mechanical genius and I'm not just saying that because I love him more than life itself.  His Sgt told me that everyone wanted him in their patrols because if something went wrong with the vehicles, you give Nate a piece of wire and some chewing gum he could fix anything *L* 

He's not dating anyone but I think he's working on it.  I hear the name Mandy a little bit here & there lately.  I sure hope she's not another idiot girrrrl.

He was 24 on March 13th

I'm not seeing anyone, and getting pretty content with that I guess.  I still talk to Joe and see him at the bar on Friday nights but we haven't gone anywhere together in ages.  Works for me, can't hardly be accused of having an affair if the entire "relationship" is conducted in a public place and goofy emailings back & forth.

That's about all I got.  Guess I'll get out of here & go look for some flooring.  Hope you all are doing well.

For your viewing pleasure....My great niece, Ava

First taste of lemonade..with Aunt Alexis

Banana's.....Yum!

With the birthday boy, Uncle Beau

First Easter candy...

See ya next time. 

Happy Birthday to You

Happy Birthday to You

Happy Birthday Dear Drops of Jupiter

Happy Birthday to YOU!!

And mannnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyy  mooooorrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee!!

Dear Faithful Reader - Me vote for Obama?  Come on, are ya serious? 

Bad guys beware - I'm hell with a .38 

I know most of you will be disappointed with me but I just can no longer live my life for you all, I must have change and if there is to be change in my life, I will have to be the one changing.  So, I have decided that I am going to vote for Barack Hussein Obama.

Yes, you heard me right, and don't try to change my mind.  A lot is going to change, but it's not going to be changing my mind, hear me?

With an Obama Presidency will come change.  Change is good.  Everything will change.  How will it change?  It doesn't matter, as long as we have change.  Did I mention change is good?  It is time for change in America, all of America and us Americans need change, we must change and when we all change, everything will be changed for the good.  Without changes we'll stay the same, we can't stay the same, we must change.  Ask me any question and I will answer "It will change" and it will change...do we really care how it will change?  I say, Hell no, as long as it changes.

I will join the cult crowd chanting for change.  I will pray for change in Iraq and Afghanistan.  I will look forward to change in the government.  I will be honored to get change for a buck at McDonalds from their newly changed menu.  I will never again forget to change my furnace filter.  I will continue to change my panties every day.  I will push with my brothers and sisters for change, change, change.

And now, in honor of Barack Hussein Obama, and his movement for change, I give you David Bowie, Changes.

Still dont know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets and
Every time I thought Id got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But Ive never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
Im much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
Dont want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I cant trace time

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence
So the days float through my eyes
But stil the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
Theyre quite aware of what theyre going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
Dont tell them to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
Wheres your shame
Youve left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you cant trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Ah changes are taking the pace Im going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
Oh, look out you rock n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
Pretty soon now youre gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I cant trace time
I said that time may change me
But I cant trace time

Viva La Change!!  

Will someone explain these Mini's to me, please? 

Ok, enough of that bullshit, we all know I don't do down very well 

I know Christmas is long over, but I didn't have a chance to post my patriotic tree so you'll all just have to bear with me *g*  Every ornament except one has been sent to Nate & I by your friend & mine, Drops, over the past few years.  The one not sent by Drops was sent to Nate by Damaris the year he came home from Iraq.  And under the tree is Nate's Purple Heart.  Thanks Drops & Damaris...this is my favorite tree every Christmas

.

So I went to DC last month for a summit sponsored by America Supports You, which is a program the DoD (Department of Defense for those of you that don't know *g*) runs to encourage, you guessed it, support of our troops.  I met a lot of very cool people who are doing a lot of cool things for our Kids.  I also got to meet Patti Patton-Bader, the founder of Soldiers' Angels, who I've worked with for 4 yrs but had never met.  She's the grand-niece of General Patton, by the way.  And she's very cool & extremely fun *L*  We met at the Pentagon and decided to ditch out early...hailed a cab back to our hotel & spent the afternoon in the lounge talking.  I have a pic here somewhere.....hmmm....

This is Major Ziegenfuss, who met us at the hotel after the 38th surgery on his arm.  We were honored to be able to present him with a Silver Star banner and certificate of appreciation....so that was pretty cool.

While in DC we visited Walter Reed.  I walked into that lobby without a thought of what it may feel like and was surprised at the flood of emotions that hit me, standing there by the elevators that carried Nate & I from floor to floor for two weeks.  I gotta confess, I had a moment.  Anyhow, we were escorted to the 5th floor and had the honor & pleasure of presenting banners to 9 young men with a variety of injuries, some had been there for a few weeks while one had gotten there so recently that his parents hadn't arrived yet.  I have pictures, but I'm not allowed to, so, sorry, can't share them.  *g*

We did get permission from the Kids to take pics, but our escort realized what we were doing and told us we couldn't take pictures and asked me to erase the memory card of my camera.  Well, I DID...I pushed the little delete button, said "All" when it asked me what to delete, saw the little swoosh of the pics being deleted, stuck the camera back into my purse.  That evening Janie asked for my card to download pics we took after WR, and we all were shocked to see the pics of WR still there.  Yikes!  Weird, huh?

Ok, that's it for now.  Sadie is outside demanding to be left back in and I want a banana *L*  Hope you all enjoy your Valentine's Day. 

Wannabe.....you aren't THAT much younger than me, are you???  The son of my pension guy? *L*  Man, be nice and ask for a brother or something, would ya?  *g*

 ........Whose got all the snow?

We sure don't.  We have rain. Must be that damn global warming.    This pic was taken last February in the now famous Valentines Day Blizzard of 2007.  I heard on the news last month that a record number of babies were being born as a result of folks being snowed in during the blizzard, and apparently, not having much to do with themselves.  I suddenly became very thankful, remembering that Ed was here snowed in with me.  How I would hate us being a statistic in this particular subject.   

Speaking of statistics...Did you hear the MSN news babes slip of the tongue the other day?  She was talking about Obama & Hillary when she said they were sta-testical equals.  Someone needs to cut down on the testosterone injections, Hillary.  Hillary's just pissed off cuz she didn't think to aspire to the Presidency while still in Kindergarten, poor girl.  If the Presidency wasn't such an important position, this shit would be funny.  Am I the only one that thinks the Youtube debates are like going to a very badly planned circus?  Geesh, can you see Ronald Reagan, John F. Kennedy even Richard Nixon, being asked to "debate" in this fashion?  No wonder things are going so badly in America, when even electing a President has become Entertainment Tonight.

Ok, enough on politics, I have a head ache.

Speaking of which...I about knocked my silly ass out the other day in the Marcs parking lot.  I wonder if someone would have helped me up off the pavement or if they would have just removed all the items I had just put in my trunk.  Maybe they would have removed all the items, helped me up & then claimed that I had just got there and had not shopped yet.  I might have believed them *L*  What I did was bring the door down before I had totally cleared it, hitting my head with the very sharp corner of the door.  This was Wednesday, I still can't touch my head.  Big dummy.  I think the next vehicle I get I'll make sure the back door is pneumatic, then it will come down slowly and I'll have time to get out from under it 

Nate asked to borrow $15,000 dollars the other day.  Me being the great Mom that I am wrote him a check on the spot choked on my coffee and screamed WHAT????  *L*  Kids!  He found a house in Tallmadge, where all his buddies live and where he's been talking about buying, for $15K.  It's a small ranch on .66 of an acre.  Obviously a foreclosure.  Yesterday he called and said "Mom, I don't think you have to worry about me moving out for a while, at least not for this house".  It seems he stopped to look at the house, walked around looking in the windows, and through the kitchen window he spied a chalk outline of a body on the kitchen floor.  In my typical loving Mom style I said, Nate, don't be a puss, a little Pinesol will clean that right up *g*

He called the police and they laughed and said nothing had happened in the house, that kids must have gotten in & was clowning around.  They knew exactly the house he was talking about, so apparently other people have been peeking through the windows and have left shocked *g*

What I found out about myself this week with him seriously considering buying this house?  That I need him to.  I became so defensive when he first mentioned it, ticking off the reasons why he couldn't/shouldn't.  And then I realized what that all boiled down to was ME.  Me not wanting him to leave our house.  Me fearing that I will hardly see or hear from him.  Me, me, me.  For Pete's sake, the kid will be 24 in March, he needs to have his own place.  And this is a great opportunity for him.  The house needs A LOT of work, but, when I calmed down, I explained to him that he can borrow more than the buying price and get the things that need done taken care of and still have a house payment that he can afford.  He has some credit issues, I'm hoping he can work past them and get this house.  If nothing else, he can fix it up & make some money on it.

Now, that's better, Mom.  *L*  Since he is my only child I'm not sure if it's always this hard to let go.  I think maybe it's harder for me because of almost losing him, but maybe it's not any harder for me than it was for you.  Whatcha think?

Alrighty then, onward.  Not a whole hell of a lot going on in Teriland that I care to bore you with.  I work, I come home, I work on soldier stuff, I sleep, I go back to work.  Christmas is, what, 10 days away? and I got nothing done.  I ordered Nate 5 pairs of Carhart jeans he wanted from Sears and the next day they sent an email that they were only sending 1 pair.  They can't keep them in stock, and I never even knew Carhart made jeans *L*  So I ordered again, in a smaller size, and so far those 4 pairs are supposed to be coming.  I'm thinkin the smaller size is going to work out better anyhow as I was talking to a guy that is way bigger than Nate and he said he wore a 34 waist in Carhart...No way is Nate gonna be able to keep a 34 up if this guy wears that size.  Anyhow, ordered him a couple Carhart sweatshirts and a Flip Video camcorder, $125 Snap On gift certificates (to buy tools) and that's it.  I think I'll get him some Taco Bell gift cards and call it a day.  I dunno.

Hopefully today I can clear a path through his junk in the basement & drag out the Christmas tree and decorations.  Tomorrow my nieces are coming over to bake Christmas cookies with me so that'll be fun.  

Ok, I guess I should get to it.  Hope you all are doing well, maybe in the next year I'll be able to come visit with you all like I used to, I sure miss all of you. 

I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a blessed new year full of love & happiness! 

Addendum:

This is why shipping costs are so much....Brought to you by the geniuses at Walmart.com:

Yes, the little box sitting in front of the big box was all that the big box contained.  Other than 2000 feet of packing paper.  Oyyyyyyy

Gosh, it's been so long since I've been here you're all playing tag and I don't have a clue what it means *L*  Also noticed something called "mini's" when I went to see why Theologian was tagging me..what the heck?  Me thinks I will have to learn to blog all over again....

So..the newest new thing in my life...I am now Great Aunt to one beautiful angel, Ava Louise.  Yes, that would be me with the double chin:

Ava is my niece Ashley's newborn, arriving Friday morning by c-section at 7 lbs 11 oz.  My parents first Great Grandchild so of course my first great anything.  And so, my sister and I take one more step together, hand in hand, down this road that is leading us to becoming our mother and our aunts.  Not a bad road to be traveling.

Life moves on in Teriland.  I've managed to get the Living Legends team where I am comfortable leaving it.  Sent my resignation, gearing myself down and my replacement up, I will officially hand it off to her at the end of the month.  I've been removing myself by bits and pieces, and although I am enjoying having a little more time for myself, I do find myself missing the involvement.  It has been a very unique experience for me, an honor to have been able to speak to some of the parents and spouses of our fallen Heroes, to listen to the stories of these brave men & womens lives.  I will hold these conversations forever in my heart, and the cards and letters I have received will be always safe guarded in the box on my hope chest that they reside in.  But it's time for me to move on.

And hopefully I will fight the good fight that I committed to by accepting the position of Vice President of Silver Star Families.  So many changes need to be made by our government to ensure that our Wounded get the fair treatment they so richly deserve.  A nation that forgets her wounded warriors is a nation doomed to not having any warriors willing to fight for her.  Why would they, if the only future they see is fighting for what they deserve for the rest of their lives.  I am excited and determined to be a part of seeing that these changes come about.

Nothing of note happening in my personal life.  I work and come home to find something waiting for me to get done.  My dad finally built the wall I've been needing for Nate's room and I am painting woodwork and getting ready to paint the walls as soon as I can get Nate to move the construction debris out of there.  Then it's carpet and him getting moved out of my spare room up stairs here so I can finally have an office.  I am really pleased with what I've been able to accomplish this year...new mortgage meaning new roof, new Leaf Guard gutter system and other odds & ends I've been able to get done.  Funny how I seem to have more money and be able to get more done single than I could married *L*  Poor Ed.

Still doing the occasional dinner with Joe, although I have cut way back on our time together.  He has become a very cherished friend to me...backing me 100%  when I'm right, and yanking me back down to earth when I'm not.  I wish the situation were different, but it is what it is, so I treasure what I am able to have with him and ask or accept nothing more.  There is always a reason that God places people in your life, if you figure out what purpose that person serves in your life I think you are truly blessed.  I have come to believe that Joe was placed in mine to help me get back the self confidence and purpose that I lost with Ed.  A person like Ed, so miserable in their own skin, drags you down before you even realize it's happening.  They suck the life out of you, defeat you, make you feel like all you are right at this moment is all that you can ever be.  A person like Joe sees the You that you no longer see...he challenges you, reminds you of your wings and forces you to use them. And he stands beside you while you're still just flapping around, trying them out....and applauds you when you finally achieve lift off.  If that's not the definition of a true friend, I don't know what one is.

Wow..ok...getting a little deep for a gray Sunday afternoon *g*  I have stuff to do, I'm sure you do too, so let's get out of here & get it done *L*

Hope you all are well...I miss ya.   

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
RELEASE No. 20071026-01
October 26, 2007

Iraqi Army at Besmaya Installation Support San Diego Fire Victims
By U.S. Army Sgt 1st Class Charlene Sipperly
Multi-National Security Transition Command – Iraq Public Affairs

BAGHDAD, Iraq -- Members of the Iraqi Army in Besmaya collected a donation for the San Diego, Calif., fire victims Thursday night at the Besmaya Range Complex in a moving ceremony to support Besmaya's San Diego residents.

Iraqi Army Col. Abbass, the commander of the complex, presented a gift of $1,000 to U.S. Army Col. Darel Maxfield, Besmaya Range Complex officer in charge, Multi-National Security Transition Command Iraq, to send to the fire victims in California.

The money was collected from Iraqi officers and enlisted soldiers in Besmaya. In a speech given during the presentation, Col. Abbass stated that he and the Iraqi soldiers were connected with the American people in many ways, and they will not forget the help that the American government has given the Iraqi people. Abbass was honored to participate by sending a simple fund of $1,000 to the American people in San Diego, to lower the suffering felt by the tragedy.