The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend.  Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again.  The Wheel Of Time (Series by Robert Jordan, may he rest in peace)

I am currently re-reading, again, the Wheel of Time series.  This is perhaps my fourth reading of it.  Love this story, even though I am not normally a "fantasy" reader.  The above is how each book in the series begins....if it is truly a beginning.

The Wheel of Time is moving pretty rapidly in my own life, apparently.  Every time I come here I am amazed at how much time has passed since my last visit.  Where does the time go?  I surely do not know.

Life here is finally settling into some kind of normal rhythm.  My shift at work is now constant, 2:30pm-11pm and I'm finding that I like second shift more than I imagined I would.  I like the work, sometimes its pretty stressful and there's too much to do but I sit in that chair at 2:30 and the next thing I know it's 8 and I take an hour lunch and then only have a couple hours left to work.  I like and enjoy my co-workers a great deal more than I thought I would, that has been a delightful surprise.  My supervisor thinks I'm a nut and has asked me to promise I won't leave her *L*  And the director of our dept. told a mutual friend that I am a quick learner and a real asset to the department.  So...all's good, I reckon.

Personally?  I'm not sure what's going on there, I just go day by day.  John and I have continued to see each other, albeit a weird pairing.  He feels a need to constantly remind me that we are not in a relationship, while daily wanting to talk before work, during work (text) and after work, and almost daily stopping by "just for a kiss".  The more I radiate my non-need of him in my life, the more he wants in, but still the reminders of the non-relationship.  Freak.    I have not been invited to meet any of his family, and his middle daughter is coming home from college Monday for the summer, so I expect to see and hear less from him as I don't think he wants her to know he's seeing anyone.  What a goofball.  But, it's like I told him, I imagine his daughters would be outraged to learn that he has found someone he likes and wants in his life.  I know I would be beyond angry to know that my Dad was happy.    Freak.

Joe is still hanging in there, although it's beyond me why.  We see each other maybe once a month with me working this shift and both of us busy with our own lives on the weekends.  He emails me daily, and I hear a ton more "I love you"s from him with the absence of seeing each other.  We went to dinner last Saturday evening and then drank a bottle of wine here at my house and, as always, I had a great time with him.  He is a great friend, and that's how I've come to see him.  My friend, Lesa, calls him my girlfriend because we do things that Lesa & I would do...well, other than the few kisses & hugs he steals  *L* He is a great sounding board for me though and has helped me make a lot of decisions that even he doesn't realize.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be married again.  I would like to be.  I really enjoyed being married, the whole concept of sharing a life with someone...coming home from work to someone...falling asleep and waking with someone...feeling love for and from someone.  With all the bad that was my marriage with Ed, I sometimes miss the whole sharing a life thing.  I don't dwell on it too much, it makes me sad to think I will never have that again, but sometimes I just wonder....

Nate is great.  But in pain.  What a great kid. (25 yrs old in March he was, but always my kid)  I only know he's in pain because he made appointments to go to the VA, he never ever complains.  So, here's whats going on with him.  First VA appointment - shoulder pain.  Result - major surgery or major major surgery, we will know after he gets a CT Scan.  The "major" surgery would be a fusing of something in his shoulder.  The "major major" would be to put in pins and rods.  He's 25.  Yeah, I'm crying. 

He first hurt his shoulder during PT in S. Korea.  They put him on "light duty" which consisted of him not doing PT for a while, but pulling engines out of traks and tanks.  Yeah, pretty light, those engines.    And then when he got blown up in Iraq he lost a ton of nerves, tendons, ligaments under his shoulder blade, which work together with the shoulder to move the arm.  With the consequent nerve death that is still going on, he's losing movement and could lose all movement, muscle atrophy, which could lead to him losing total use of his arm.  His right arm.  He's right handed.

That wound was 8" across when I first saw it........

Second VA appointment - gastro.  They are going to do another scope, this time at the VA, knocking him totally out.  I think I told you he had a scope last fall here in Akron, they gave him that twilight stuff and he bit down on the scope and wouldn't let go, so they couldn't complete the procedure.  I had tried to tell the doc that Nate reacts badly to anyone messing with him while he's asleep (since Iraq) but he didn't listen and wouldn't put Nate all the way out.  He's lucky he didn't get his ass kicked right there, Nate put down 2 docs in Iraq when they tried to do emergency surgery on him, and he WAS knocked out when he did that.  *L*  Thats my boy!

So, yeah, I have my worries, but all in all life is good.  Lots of changes, I'm trying to just roll with them.  I am healthy, and not unhappy.  Just hanging out, taking it as it comes.  It is what it is, at least at this moment....

Ok, just meant to leave a short update here....I hope you all are happy & well. 

So...I see the Big O is going to triple efforts to find tax evaders.

Must have some open cabinet positions he needs to fill.

Can anyone name for me one high ranking Dem who does pay their taxes?  Just one.  Any one?  Funny to me that the party of big tax doesn't pay their own....I guess that's cuz they're special.

So, the new job is going ok.  Monday was 8 hours of "Orientation".  Would have been nice if they told us something we could actually use, like where the time clocks are located...how to swipe into the parking lots and little stuff like that.  But I guess it's very important for us all to know what a great company we've just started working for and how they rank in the United States and how we can do our part to make sure they rank higher this year.  Three of the eight hours was spent with one woman who heads up "Quality Assurance" who taught us how to walk down the hallways and smile at everyone.  I guess only the very new employee's got that memo, as everyone else just ignores your very pleasant "Good Morning Precious Co-Worker!!  Isn't it great to be here today?!!"   

Tuesday was excruciating....8 hrs of someone reading a computer manual to us.  Wednesday was better, we got to actually go on the computer and practice what was read to us the day before.  Today was overwhelming - someone reading the insurance manual to us....I actually did learn something today - there's a whole heck of a lot of different insurances out there  *L*  Holy moly.  That was from 7AM to 11:30 AM and then I went over to where my job actually is going to be.

I met the girl I was hired to replace.  I didn't know this.  She was not very pleasant to me.  But, you know, it's not my fault they are not hiring her in (she's a temp).  I was told when I interviewed that the "temp" wasn't working out.  First thing I noticed about her, without knowing she was the temp, was that she was surly (my new word) and she wasn't dressed very well...not any where close to the "uniform".  She didn't respond when introduced to me, but then asked me if I was going to be full time (yes) and about 15 minutes later asked what my shift was going to be.  Then about an hour into my sitting there she finally asked my name.

Had a meeting with my direct supervisor...She asked how things were going so far and I said pretty good, I sure hope I pass that drug test.    She likes me.

Ok, gotta go grill some zucchini squash on the George Foreman....and then fall into bed.  Hope you kids are all doing well ~  You know I am!  

Addendum:  If you've never grilled zucchini squash you gotta try it!  Slice it length wise, about 1/4" strips, toss in some olive oil & sprinkle with Italian Seasonings, grill till tender & then throw some shredded mozzarella cheese on top.  YUMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

Got this in an email and thought you all might enjoy....Well, at least those of you that, like me, are proud flag wavers and Bible clingers  *g*

Enjoy!

Ok, I'm really trying to give it the ole Boy Scout try, giving President Obama a chance to prove himself, but, can anyone explain to me the urgency of lifting this ban?  Was this the most pressing thing facing our nation on Day 3 of his presidency?   Furthermore, I don't want to fund abortions in my own country, let alone other countries.  You do what you want with your body and your "fetus", to me a baby is a baby is a baby, from hour ONE, and to use a liberal word, I am offended to have to enable what I see as murder.  How 'bout we try feeding some kids instead of killing them?  

So John got home at 8 PM last night.  And called me at 8:03.  And picked me up at 8:50     We went to Wings, where we met my sister & brother in law for a late snack and a couple beers.  It was fun, as it mostly is when the four of us get together.  That is one nice thing about maybe dating John, a lot of people don't "get" my sister so it's not always fun to do things with them with someone who doesn't "get" her.  John has known her, I thought 15 yrs, but it came out last night to more like 20 years.  So he knows her and loves her anyhow.  Afterwards I went home with him and we attempted to watch a movie, but the roadtrip finally caught up with him and I tucked him in and watched the rest of the movie myself.  And another movie.  And another.  I'm finding that it's very hard for me to sleep in a strange place...but I am finding myself very comfortable with him.  I think I'm glad he accepted the no sex thing and is apparently wanting to try this my way.

So today he'll be spending some time with his dad and his granddaughter and I'll be going to church here in a little while and then picking up some groceries and probably doing odds & ends around the house.  I need to sit down and figure out how life will be run in my household when I go on this afternoon shift.  I dunno, do you cook dinner in the morning and then warm it up at dinner time or what?  It will be weird for me for a while, having always worked 8-5 and then doing household things after work....Now it will be household things and then work.  I'll get it, just need to work out a program for myself.  Did I mention that John works 3-11? 

I've been reading (oh boy, this name is coming out of my fingers too many times!)  John in the New Testament.  I like this account of Jesus' birth and crucifixion because it goes into more detail than Matthew, Mark & Luke about the miracles that Jesus did and the things that He said.  I know a lot of my readers are christians so wanted to ask - when John refers to "and the disciple standing by, whom he loved", you know the one that from the cross he told his mother,  Mary, "Woman, Behold thy son" and to the disciple he said "Behold thy mother" ?  And during the Last Supper it says this disciple laid his head on Jesus' chest.  Is he talking about himself, John?  Because in the 2nd to last verse in this book John writes "this is the disciple which testifieth of these things".

I think it's cool that every time you read the Bible you pick up something that you missed the other times.  I've read the entire Bible a few times and I'm always saying to myself  "I didn't know that!"  I like that...kind of like you see what you need to see when you need to see it.  At least thats how it seems to work out for me.

Ok then.  I need to go eat some Whole Grain Cheerios with skim milk (hehehe) and put together a little grocery list and get ready for church.  You kids enjoy your day ~ You know I will!  

PS:  I'm REALLY glad that I started to write again....didn't realize how much I had missed it.  Writing really helps me to figure things out... when I'm writing, the answers sometimes come with the questions...and your feedback always gives me another dimension to ponder.   Thanks for that!!

Holy Moly, it's cold outside!  I wanted to title this with something cold that started with an S, to go with Saturday, but when I asked Nate for an S word for cold he said Sucks *L*  It's not a sucky Saturday, so not using that one 

I went to my former office yesterday and worked for about 4 hrs.  Talked to my former boss, let's just call him John, (since that's his name  ) about what he's going to do now that I'll be working somewhere else.  I have been going in at least once a week since I've been laid off, doing payroll (2-3 guys) and billings and whatever needed done.  So I proposed that I keep coming in and doing those things until he's ready to hire someone or close the business, and in that way I can pay him back for the insurance he's kept up for me during this jobless time of my life.  He had paid for March thru July and then told me I could work 20 hrs a month to continue to pay for it, but I have taken one paycheck a month to supplement the unemployment, so still owe him the insurance.  I think he agreed, not ever sure with him *L*  I just didn't want him to think I was going to screw him out of the insurance since he has always treated me very well and you know he did not have to keep me insured all this time without me working. 

I went to dinner with my sister, Wendy, and Ashley & Ava last night.  We were of course talking about the new job and my sister said that she was thinking the other day how much my life has been changing lately.  It's just like me, never doing anything halfway, that not just one thing has changed, but everything.  She told me that she finds it exciting to be on the outside looking in and seeing all these good changes coming to me and she can't wait to see what happens next.  It surprised me because my sister can be a little ditzy and completely in her own world, so when she makes an observation that even I didn't realize, it's kinda cool.

She is 45.  She's been having some trouble for about 2 years now, with numbness and tingling in her arm and now in her leg...she sometimes has trouble walking.  We thought maybe she had a stroke, since the blocked arteries are definitely a family affair, but she was diagnosed with MS.  The second opinion was given yesterday, she does have MS and probably has had it since the 80's but is just now seeing symptoms.  She was taking it pretty well last night.  Me, I just wanted to cry and pound my fists on something.  She's probably already done that.

We have a dear friend, Patti, who went to school with Wendy from grade school on.  She is so close to us that we've always thought of her as our sister and our kids have never known her by anything but Aunt Patti.  She has been struggling with MS since her early 30's, like 15 yrs now.  I have watched Patti go from vibrant and active to struggling with little every day things, even getting out of bed some mornings is more than she can manage.  It's heartbreaking, but we are all there for one another and will all be there for Wendy when this thing progresses. 

What is life without a little struggle, huh?

I didn't mean for this entry to become melancholy, so I'm changing the subject. 

John (not former boss, the other John *L*)  will be home from S. Carolina this evening and has asked if he can see me when he gets here.  I find it....encouraging?  that he will be on the road for at least 11 hrs and wants to end the evening by seeing me, even though I have graciously declined his offer of a "friends with benefits" non-relationship.  It really would be nice to have someone in my life again, even if it's just a friendship type of thing.  I spend way too much time alone, as does he.  I guess we'll see what happens.

A lady from the hospital called me yesterday to fill me in on what my schedule is going to be like for training.  I'll be at one of the hospitals at 7 AM most mornings, and then some mornings I'll be at one hospital for 1/2 a day and then the hospital I'm actually going to be working at the other half.  There is a "uniform" of sorts...Black pants, black turtleneck or mock turtleneck or a blouse, with a collar, solid color - no stripes or patterns.  You can wear a sweater or vest, black, no hood.  So I have to go through my clothes and see if I have anything that complies. I have a ton of blouses, but most have some kind of stripe or pattern...so...might be shopping this weekend.   I don't do turtlenecks, can't stand even a short necklace around my neck.  Goes back to my fear of zipties I think.  Hehehehe

Some of you asked what this job entails....here is the description as posted on the job board:

Hmmm...it won't copy & paste.  So, it's Patient Access Representative - Bed Control.  It's basically admitting, assigning patients to beds on the correct floors/wards per their diagnoses, doing bed census so they always know how many people are in the beds at all times, and I don't know what all else.  I'm hoping a lot more else, otherwise I'm gonna be bored to death....I can't imagine there's ever a big rush for beds at any one time, unless we get hit with a plague or something     I really don't care what the job is, I needed a foot in the door and God has provided this...now there is a ton of opportunity to grow and move within the system, they own 5 hospitals in this area and are buying up more, so I can go anywhere, do anything, just by taking this one job.  Pretty exciting from where I'm sitting!

Ok, gotta go get some things done...You kids enjoy your day, you know I will!!  

You guys aren't so good with guessing games, huh?    

I

Got

A

JOB!!!

The hospital one.  I go for a physical next Tuesday and then a one day orientation on Feb 2nd and Feb 3rd I start training.  Training is 4-6 weeks, however long it takes to learn it and be comfortable enough to be on my own and then my shift will be 2 in the afternoon till 10:30 PM.  Thank you all that have been praying for this need to be filled for me, I so appreciate all of you!!  Ok, gotta go to the former workplace this morning....

You kids enjoy your day!  

I think I'm trying to get sick.  Maybe that's why I haven't felt like dressing, huh?  Yesterday my eyes felt tired all day and my stomach was seasick.  I did go and get some Zicam and took 2 doses last night and feel a lot better today, although now my throat is a little sore.

Always something, aint it?  

I've been singing this song today....Concentrate on the chorus rather than the verses.....and then tell me why you think I might be having joy today.  (Aint I mean?  *L*)  A LOT of Joy!!!  *g*

You kids enjoy your day, I'm definately going to! 

President Bush commuted the sentences of the unjustly imprisoned former Border Patrol Agents Ignacio Ramos and Jose Compean today.

Thank you, Lord!